Holidays of All Kinds
Merry Christmas! And Happy New Year!
Christmas is always an interesting time for me, because while I absolutely LOVE it, it is also the time when all of my 9,000 commitments come crashing together in a sea of Drive Me Insane and it is finals and work goes crazy and there are too many parties and I am traveling and there is much shopping and wrapping and ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, I HAVE FINALS.
So yeah, it’s like that.
And the fact that I end up so stressed out in mid-December makes it hard to actually
enjoy the season all that much. I just have a hard time getting into it, even though Christmas threw up all over my apartment not once, but twice, and now every single goddamn surface is either wrapped, draped, or otherwise adorned in garland. (Christmas only gets tea and toast from now on). And my parents live in warm weather areas, and no matter how many lights someone has in their yard, I’ve never really gotten used to 80 degree Christmases. So while Christmas was very nice, and I went to Texas and drank wine and played pool, and opened gifts and gave gifts and yay, I really hadn’t gotten entirely into the holiday scene.
Until last night.
Because now, now I have time. I am not in school for awhile. I am caught up (sorta) at work. I don’t have to do mad shopping. Everyone is home and everyone is relaxed and Jenny is visiting and that? That is AWESOME. Because I realized last night that my friends and I speak our own language. (Sometimes quite literally, when we make up words, (hui!) but also, figuratively). And when we are all relaxed and hanging out we can totally entertain ourselves for hours and it works in a really phenomenal way. Everyone is different, and I’m sure that not everyone would enjoy mocking an hour of Joan Rivers on QVC, or understand the hilarity of confusing “Salsa Verde Doritos” with “Salsa Doritos of Truth”, or continue to search unending for the absolute
worst reality TV program, but it works for us.
So tonight I will stop by the liquor store on the way to the mall and pick up tequila, and then I will meet the girls and we will shop for New Years Eve dresses. And then we will go back to the apartment and drink and be stupid and fun because we almost never all get to hang out together anymore and all of us are, in effect, on vacation. And then I will go to a fabulous New Years party with some of my favorite people, and then spend Sunday hanging out and watching movies and cooking, and then Monday the whole crowd will get together for “Fun day off activities”. No, we don’t know what those are yet. And No, it doesn’t matter.
So even though Christmas is, technically, over, I’m going to celebrate my holidays now, when I can fully enjoy them, and the people around me.
And to all who will get this: Oprah ROCKS, and so do you!
I Know I Brought This On Myself.
Sometimes, it is better to just
keep your mouth shut. Because when you mock, you open yourself up to karma. And karma is a bitch.
That said, Kate, E and I had a totally hilarious moment at the holiday party that we didn’t actually realize we were throwing Saturday night.
This adventure begins Friday night, with this conversation:
Kate: “I’ve gotten three RSVP’s for tomorrow night.”
Me: “Oh. Cool! Um…. Did we…. Did we send out an
invitation for tomorrow night??”
Kate: “Nope.”
Me: “Ah.”
Kate: “Costco?”
Me: “Yep”.
Honestly y’all, we have this impromptu party throwing thing down to a science. Aaaand… here’s where the second tangent to this story comes in. Have you all seen the commercials for Baileys Irish Crème? With the young professionals having a party? Now. We have lots of parties. We go to lots of parties. We ARE young professionals who party. NO ONE PARTIES LIKE THE PEOPLE IN THIS COMMERCIAL.
This commercial is on a lot around the holiday season, and it always sparks a conversation among the three of us that goes something like this:
Me: “Oh for the love of god, it’s the Bailey’s commercial.
Again. And I will say, AGAIN, that it is a Stupid. Commercial.
Kate: “Yeah, I mean, it’s kind of unrealistic. But…”
Me: “NO BUTS. Seriously, who sits around at a party and drinks glasses of Bailey’s Irish Cream?? HONESTLY. DRINK A BEER. OR WINE. NO ONE DOES THIS. DRINKING A CLOYINGLY SWEET CREAMY BEVERAGE DOES NOT MAKE YOU SEXY EVEN THOUGH THE COMMERCIAL PRETENDS IT DOES.”
E: “I just hate this part where the woman, for some obscure reason, eye fucks the guy until he drips the last drop down her throat, but then it is intercepted by the other guy. I mean, huh?”
Kate: “Yes. That is really stupid. But honestly, maybe if we had a pretentious party, then people would drink Bailey’s.”
Me: “Never. Going. To. Happen.”
So this commercial is on often, and we have had this conversation dozens of times. It’s a big running joke in my apartment.
(You all see where this is going, right?)
So anyway, we were planning our party, and we decided to make it very holiday-ish, with mulled wine and champagne and fancy coffee drinks. And here is where I stop with a public service announcement, which is: People. All of you. Go mull some wine. This shit is
fantastic. We went through 5 bottles and no one wanted to stop drinking it. It’s THAT good.
Kate, Citycat, and E’s (but really the Internet’s) Mulled Wine Recipe:
Bring 2/3 cup white sugar, 2/3 cup water, and one cinnamon stick to a boil.
Add juice of ½ an orange, the ½ orange peel, and 10 cloves.
Lower heat, simmer for ½ an hour until mixture is syrupy.
Stir in one bottle red wine (we highly suggest Pinot Noir, possibly Kendall Jackson.)
Allow to warm throughout, serve in mugs.
It is lovely Christmassy goodness.
Anyway, so everyone shows up and we have mulled wine and a friend of ours brought over… you guessed it… Baileys, to add to coffee and make nutty Irishmen and the like. And to make matters worse, it was cheaper to buy the little bottles of Baileys, instead of a big one. So anyway, we are all hanging out and eating cheeses and drinking wine and life is really good. But the mulled wine was going quickly, and as you can see, it takes about a half hour to 45 minutes to make a new batch. So there was a period of time where we were in drink limbo and were discussing options with our friend, and the conversation went like:
Me: “There is coffee and whiskey and Bailey’s if you just want Irish coffee, or champagne, or…”
Him: “Honestly, I’ll just have a Bailey’s on the rocks.”
Me: “Sure. Let me just get my rocks glasses and…… Oh. Oh, no.”
Him: “Is something wrong?”
Me: “KATE.”
Kate: “What?”
Me: “He wants a Bailey’s. On the rocks.”
Kate: “Ok, just get the rocks glasses and… Oh.”
Kate and I then had to leave the room and sit down we were laughing so hard. Kate called E into the room then, and he took one look at his friend and the Bailey’s and
he needed to sit down. I felt bad for our poor friend, who felt slightly uncomfortable as the hosts of the party laughed hysterically at him.
And later in the evening, when the mulled wine was well and truly gone, ALL of the guests had rocks glasses of Bailey’s, JUST LIKE the damn commercial, and Kate even dripped the last drop into my mouth.
Sigh.
"...in bed."
Ok, so the time since my last final has been filled with a lot of nonsensical giggling, and then last night E came into town, bringing the number of people in my apartment who just finished law school finals up to two, while the number of people who are thanking the lord that we are done, already, so they don’t have to listen to our insufferable whining anymore holds steady at 1. (Thanks, Kate!). E and I had a rousing bitchfest last night, basically revolving around:
E: “No, seriously. The Professor LIED about the NUMBER OF QUESTIONS and the TIME LIMIT of the TEST. THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT.
Me: “Yes. And in evidence?? They asked about the FUCKING RESIDUAL RULE. They haven’t asked about that in FIVE GODDAMN YEARS."
E: “Oh, and my First Amendment Class? Closed book, and the man asks for the holding in a bunch of cases. One of them? SMITH. The hell? I looked, there are SIX SMITH CASES in that book alone. How am I supposed to know what Smith he is talking about? I figure I pretty much could have written anything AT ALL, and banked on the fact that somewhere there was a Smith case to back me up!”
Me: “Yes, like my evil LRW professor, who asked us the holding of a case in which she SPELLED THE GODDAMN PARTY NAME WRONG, like, THE CASE DOESN’T EXIST.”
This went on for quite some time, as we were het up, and annoyed, and actually awfully loud, so, Hi tenth floor of my apartment- E and I hate exams, and now you know exactly why.
Anyway though, things have just been relatively stupid and fun. Take last night, which started with me watching all the TV that I DvR’d during finals, including the ANTM reunion show. And it was all fine, until the end, where Tyra Banks informed the models that she had chosen them all, and they all had a future, and it was up to them to “Make their destiny great”. Which… what? Isn’t the whole concept of destiny that you… don’t have control? Like, either you believe in free will, so… go be great, or you believe in destiny, so you’re pretty much stuck with it? I got rather irritated with that, and then E decided the only possible answer was that one of them was a Fate, and seriously? I just can’t see one of the ANTM models as Clotho or Lachesis, so… just no.
But even MORE fun was the Apprentice finale (until the end, which don’t get me started, because ASSHOLE, and I could be referring to so many people there, but Rebecca- I love you! Also, Alla? Can I be your evil sidekick? Just for like a week? Because you’re evil, but also kind of awesome). Anyway, before the horror and betrayal and emergence of The Giant Fucking Ego of last night, there were cute little moments where Randal and Rebecca were all adorable with each other, prompting those of us in my apartment (because we are seriously all 10 and bad people) to speculate on the fact that they totally could have slept together the last night. And THAT prompted a rousing round of the Chinese Fortune Cookie Game, where we added “in bed” to everything Randal and Rebecca said about each other. If you have Tivo’d this, I highly suggest trying this game at home- it was hilarious.
Kate’s co-worker also came over, and we completely degenerated into making No. Sense. At ALL, when we went out on the balcony and discussed 5 year plans… in which Kate will attempt to grow the worlds longest dreadlocks while eating “fa-gita” salads. I… I don’t know. Still sleepy. Finals.
Have a great weekend, y’all!
And There Was Much Rejoicing
Hi. HI!!! LALALALALALA! HIHIHI!
Oh, yes. I am DONE. WITH. FINALS.
Let the celebration begin.
Except, well, it really began last night, which is, I am sure, no surprise to any of you. But when I finally finished my exam last night (which, to be honest, was easy. And short. Yet still a Giant Pain In My Ass) I felt really, really crappy. Like, I was just beaten with a 2 by 4 and then someone came by with a big stick crappy. Because I had been going into work every morning at 7, and was completely exhausted and stressed and Fucking Evidence had basically killed my will to live.
(Note on this work thing. Please do not assume that I was going in early to, you know, do anything that had any connection to my job. That would be a silly, silly assumption. No. See, every year my agency has a holiday door decorating contest. And last year, on a whim, I re-wrote Twas The Night Before Christmas to be all parody like and my office won. And the other offices were
pissed. So this year I had a reputation to uphold. And because I am clearly
fucking neurotic, and cannot let anything just be fun or easy, I spent the last week coordinating 4 offices in an interactive multi-holiday industry-centered 6 door decorating extravaganza. Set to verse. All of it. In verse.)
(And oh yes, we won).
Anyway, last night I was not so much in the going out mode, but everyone was going, because we had all finished our exams at some point that day, and everyone just happened to be going to the bar that D1 was playing at (remember him? From my
old life, when I used to run around in high heels and cause trouble?). So I went out and had a few beers and it was awesome, because sometimes in the stress of school and work and studying and notes and finals I forget how much I actually like these people, and how much better everything is because I have them to go through all the hell with. So… thanks, law school friends!
Now, of course, I get to lose my mind in true holiday fashion, because I FINALLY get to leave “Exam Season” and join the rest of the freaking world (except not, because I know that not everyone celebrates this time of year, and maybe I shouldn’t say “holiday” instead of “Christmas”, because clearly, we are attacking the Christians people, just
attacking them, and I try so hard not to be overly political on this blog but seriously? Christians? Just stop whining. No one. Is. Attacking. You.) in celebrating “Holiday Season”. And I love the holidays, with the bright lights and things that are shiny and presents and food that is so bad for me but also- so good. And I got a present today! From the wonderful woman I work with, who is slowly but surely transforming every square inch of my office into a LOTR shine, and maybe moreso just Legolas. But I got a pretty calendar with pictures of the pretty, pretty heroes of middle earth, and I am just settled enough in my job and sense of self that I have no shame in using it, on my wall, in my office.
I know this entry makes no sense, but I no longer HAVE to make sense, because the finals? They are done.
And soon I will go to Texas, and then Jen is coming for a week, and trouble will SO be found!
Exam Update, and Looking Back...
Well. One down, two to go, and tomorrow is going to KILL me. Dead. Death, with the Failing. The good news is, Corporations was completely reasonable. I can’t think of any other word to describe it, and I also realized that I had had yet to take an exam that qualified for that term in law school. Torts was damn hard, when I read people my first question from the Con Law exam they actually burst out laughing, Contracts was ridiculous, Civ Pro… hah!. and Property? FUCK question 4. But Corporations was reasonable.
So as I fight desperately to get through 6 more days of finals and not get sick, (oh Airborne, my Airborne- seriously people, this is my new Crack, and the new crack is good), I am forgoing an actual post in lieu of a fun meme from WaveUnfurled. My year in review. Interesting how some things change, some things stay the same, and you never can predict which will be which.
A Meme:
Instructions: take the first sentence (or 2) from the first post of each month of 2005. That's your year in review.January: Well, as anyone would expect, K and I had an absolutely crazy wonderful New Years filled with champagne, Bar We Always Go To, free alcohol, Favorite Boys From College That We Have Not Seen In Years, Really, And Did Not Expect To See, falling down, a sprinkling of drama, and all that good stuff. Right now my stomach is aching from the CONSTANT LAUGHTER of New Years Day, as four hungover girls cooked the traditional New Years Day meal, watched movies, recapped the night, then went and saw a movie and ended up at the 24 hour diner of our college days at 2 in the morning.
February: So, remember how I was really stressed out? And work was crazy and law school was busy and I was having blood pressure higher than anyone my age should ever have?
March: So I had not hung out with S in a long time. And this was sad, (and also? Not My Fault. Because work, and law school, and tired, and whhiiinnne), and we decided we needed to remedy this.
April: Ok, so I KNOW it's been forever since I updated. And I know you are probably all thinking that I am running around and drinking wine and playing kickball with my friends and just didn't feel like updating. But that is SO not true, y'all. That is not what has happened at all.
May: I am down to one final. One. Last. Final. Of my ENTIRE FIRST YEAR OF LAW SCHOOL. I have to go lie down now.
June: Dear Gravity, You win.
July: It is time. I have finally joined the Big Girl Blog World and now have moved my site to Blogger.
August: Ok, so I have always had a problem with sleeping. Namely, I've never really done it.
September: Wow. Last year it took until
October for law school to make me stupid. This year?
Three days, people. Three days.
October: Well, I'm back. For the last three weeks I have been in Texas, helping the Red Cross with disaster relief after the dual tragedies of hurricanes Katrina and Rita.
November: So. Everything in my life is going ok. Work is ok. School is pretty ok. Money is ok. Family is ok. Friends are ok. I? I am… not.
December: Gah! I know it has been forever with the not updating. And… sorry? But this time, I am honestly just Out Of My Damn Mind busy, what with the starting the new job and the flying to Texas and the FINALS IN ONE GODDAMN WEEK.
Well, it was one hell of a year. Can't wait to see what comes next!
Finals: When CityCat and WaveUnfurled Procrastinate Themselves Straight Into Depression
Citycat: Shit.
WaveUnfurled? ?
Citycat: Huge mistake. Was procrastinating studying and googled Him. Got myself all worked up.
WaveUnfurled: Oh, no. No no no. That’s not a good plan at ALL.
Citycat: I know. I mean, honestly, it was Many Years Ago. Why is it so damn frustrating still?
WaveUnfurled: Why… Why are you thinking about this
now?
Citycat: Finals.
WaveUnfurled: Ah.
Citycat: You know, it’s both of their faults. Him and the Other One. I never would have gotten involved with Him if it weren’t for the Other One, you know. But… the Other One and I stayed friends, so somehow that’s just easier.
WaveUnfurled: Of course. Plus? The Other One? Is just kind of funny to watch. He is like his very own Reality TV Trainwreck. Each week his own personal Trump just comes out and cobras him.
Citycat: True. But Him? Him sucks. He… I mean, the Fuck??? How do people just??? God.
WaveUnfurled: Yes. I know. See? Anger is good. Trust me, I know. I have Mine. And believe me, I guarantee you that if I ever ran into him, only one of us would make it out alive.
Citycat: Yeah. And god, the holidays are coming up, increasing the chances of geographical proximity. And you’re visiting. Christ, they should just hang out together. But then, knowing us, we would run into them.
WaveUnfurled: Can one conversation
survive that much pretentiousness?
Citycat: Hee. True. They eventually won’t even be able to speak anymore, they will just be staring at each other trying to be all condescending and evil and one up each other
with their eyes.
WaveUnfurled: Causing everyone around them to think that they are completely in love, because that will be one HELL of an intense gaze, there.
Citycat: Yeah, honestly? They probably should just date each other. I mean, obviously, they are the only two perfect people in the world. I mean, you know this right? Because Yours told you so. And so did Mine. And they? They were always right.
WaveUnfurled: Exactly. So, now what am I supposed to do about my latest situation? I feel like the biggest butthead.
Citycat: No, Wave. HE is the biggest butthead. You are not at all a butthead. I mean, seriously. Ok, fine. So maybe our previous choices of pretentious, philosophy reading, self centered, ego driven, women fearing men were not so great. But how can you even tell anymore? Butthead seemed so normal!
WaveUnfurled: I KNOW. It’s just so frustrating.
Citycat: I know, I know. In fact, it’s pretty much identical to that
other situation I had…
For the LOVE of GOD, could ONE of us PLEASE have a healthy relationship so we could end this cycle?!?
WaveUnfurled: Not only are we in a cycle of bad relationships,
we keep having the same one.
Citycat: You are so right. I just want someone to suck in a new way. This mid-twenties to mid-thirties young professional angst just isn’t cutting it. It’s not even any fun anymore.
WaveUnfurled: I know. You start watching movies and TV and thinking, “Hey. Sure he’s a vampire, but God, is he hot. And at least our break up will be based on something I can fully comprehend, not being a Creature of the Night and all.”
CityCat: Right. I mean, last summer I tried for the whole, “I might as well just date the ones I know I don’t like” thing, and I definitely got good stories out of it. Now I am looking for the “people who are so desperately unsuitable that there is no way of falling into the trap of thinking that this one is different, because this one is NOT different, unless you count the fact that the reasons for the break up have never been quite so blatantly obvious before”.
WaveUnfurled: You mean, like, “21 years old, lives all the way across the country with his mother” type blatantly obvious?
Citycat: Shut. Up.
WaveUnfurled: I’m just saying. It seemed to work out well enough for you.
Citycat: Well, better than the guy who thought the mere fact that he owned a guitar made him an actual tortured musician.
WaveUnfurled: I have a pot. I AM A CHEF! Hee, and better than my, “It was bad enough that I flew through the air, off the bed, and into your closet door; but when you whipped out the cowboy hat
in the middle THAT WAS JUST TOO DAMN MUCH” incident.
Citycat: And remember MY favorite relationship? He forces me to have the “relationship” talk on the third date, recants it with the “we need to slow things down” talk two days later, then proceeds to cook me dinner and give me a toothbrush, then breaks up with me after I cook him dinner. What relationship was he IN??? Because… I wasn’t really a part of it.
WaveUnfurled: I KNOW. And that cooking dinner thing? It’s the kiss of death! Fastest way to a breakup ever- just make dinner.
Citycat: No kidding, and I refuse to believe that that is mere corollary. That is causation, damn it.
WaveUnfurled: Yeah. Sigh.
Citycat: Sigh. We used to be fun.
WaveUnfurled: Grad school was a bad idea.
Citycat: WHY are we doing this again???
WaveUnfurled: Citycat, can’t you see? There is a trend to this entire conversation: Masochism.
Citycat: Ahh, yes. When you come visit for Christmas we HAVE to have fun.
WaveUnfurled: Definitely.
Citycat: Yay!
WaveUnfurled: Yay!
Citycat: CRAP! Finals. I have to go study.
WaveUnfurled: I have to write papers.
Citycat: We suck.
WaveUnfurled: Yes.
At Least I Don't Have Shoulder Pads
Hi! In case y’all were wondering, I have been studying for finals and planning office door decorating coups and have basically fully lost my damn mind. I am completely and totally Batshit Crazy. I mean, we’re talking Tom Cruise level crazy here. I want to jump on a couch and “celebrate” the “magnificence” of everything!
No, not really.
But I am sort of losing it, in that I-haven’t-slept-brain-fried-from-studying-have-eaten-nothing-but-pizza-for-days kind of way. In the kind of way that made me show up for work today- an hour late- dressed kind of like an 80’s punk rocker.
See, it all began with the pants. My favorite winter pants, because they are soft and stretchy and warm but still look fairly professional. These are my go to winter pants. Except one night a few weeks ago, when it started to get cold, I realized my pants were gone. They were just… not there. At ALL. Not in any drawers. Not in closet. Not under the bed. And this was highly disturbing because… who loses a pair of pants? I mean, really. It’s not like it would have been impossible in my past, but since the whole law school thing I definitely haven’t been doing anything nearly fun enough to result in the loss of a pair of pants. I was bereft. And a little freaked out, because where the
fuck were my
pants??
I decided that clearly I must have left them in Vancouver last Christmas, and when I got to my parents new house in Texas I would simply request them back, from where they would be hanging, freshly washed, in a closet. This was a good idea in theory- such a good idea that I truly believed this to be the case, until I went home and my mother didn’t have the foggiest idea what I was talking about. No matter how many times I drunkenly alternately accused my mother of stealing my pants or begged her to give me back my pants, she was adamant that not only did she not have my pants, but she didn’t even know what pants I was
talking about, and she was a little worried about the fact that someone who purports to be a professional adult cannot even keep track of what is, honestly, a pretty essential piece of clothing. I mean, hoodie- easy to lose. But
pants??
Anyway, (GOD this is taking a really, really long time to tell what is, in essence, a pretty short and dull story) I solved the Mystery of The Missing Pants (was that an Encyclopedia Brown book?) Saturday night. You know how your mind will struggle to resist things you are trying to teach it? So you can remember every single damn word to the toothpaste jingle from 1987 but still don’t know what the capital of Arizona is? Well this happened to me, as I was desperately trying to get corporate federal and state claims straight (14a! 10b5! Auer v. Dressler!) my mind was running away, blithely frolicking in pretty fields and thinking, “Citycat, don’t you remember, in the scary messy closet, in the suitcase you don’t use, inside the other suitcase you don’t use, where you packed up winter clothes last spring? Lalalala.”
Oh.
This caused a mad rush to the closet, hopelessly confusing the cat, and I found the suitcase, and the pants! And other pants! So yay!
So today. Pile of clothing still in middle of room, but is ok because another aspect of these pants is that they
don’t ever wrinkle. And they are brown, so I throw on this brown and white sweater, except… the sweater maybe has a really large neckline? And it is really cold? So I grab one of my wifebeaters and throw that on underneath.**
(** Note on wifebeaters. This happened in Texas. I have no other excuse. They are lovely, they are cheap, and I wore them nearly every single day. Grey Goose and I both wore them, causing most people to think we were sisters, possibly twins, and one guy to actually think we were the
same person, with some sort of superpowers to be everywhere at once, until SD explained that, “No, there are two of them”. So I have a huge pile of wifebeaters in my closet and I wear them and it is love.)
Anyway, I ran to the bathroom a few minutes ago, and… Well see, Kate was driving in from home last night, and I can’t sleep Sundays anyway, so we watched Desperate Housewives kinda late, and there may have been wine, and I got to bed at about three, so I was tired this morning, and there are no mirrors IN my office, so I see myself in the bathroom mirror, and…
Hair is in a disturbingly high and also slightly off center ponytail, and I have bangs that are not so much “behaving” or “looking cool and polished” and are more so “Being spikey and going quite well with the SIDE PONYTAIL you are rocking there”, and the Sweater Of The Giant Neckline has settled off one shoulder, totally showing the wifebeater underneath, and I love the pants but I kinda have a square toed platform shoe on, and all and all I could never forgive myself if it wasn’t finals and I wasn’t Batshit Crazy.
If anyone wants to send me a big clunky charm bracelet, I’ll be all set.
A Meme is a Wish Your Heart Makes
Sorry for the title- I plead finals insanity.
I generally stay away from these memes, but I am in a write-y mood and I don’t want to work, and yet have nothing creative or interesting to say. So meme time!!
TEN random things you might not know about me.
1. I am completely obsessed with all manner of sea monsters, but especially real ones like giant squid. I once dragged K to the Museum of Natural History for the Giant Squid Exhibit, and I’ve been there at least four times since.
2. My grandfather was taken as a POW during the D-day invasion. He was the only survivor when his plane crashed. Last summer the town in France where his plane went down invited my family to come be a part of a ceremony honoring him and the others on his plane. We stayed in an actual castle with an actual moat and I had actual gorgeous Scottish boys row me around in it.
3. I have the worlds’ worst sense of direction. I get lost
in buildings.
4. Bookstores make me nervous. I love to read, but walking into a bookstore is overwhelming and I can wander for hours from fiction to romance to horror to newly published and end up going home and reading something I’ve read a hundred times before.
5. I do not want children. I never have. When I was young and my cousin and I played house, I played the aunt. Also, when I was young my parents bought me one of those dolls that talks and interacts with you. I hated it, because it told me what to do.
6. I had my heart broken twice in fairly quick succession several years ago. Sometimes I’m not sure if I am over it yet.
7. I have had terrible luck with dogs. When I was born my parents already had a dog. And my parents loved that dog, and all I hear about is how damn wonderful that dog was, but y’all? That dog
hated me. I was the newcomer and she did NOT like being usurped. When she died my parents got me a gorgeous white puppy I named Lady. I had her awhile, but then we discovered she was deaf. Since even the most gentle tempered dogs can startle easily when deaf, and my parents wanted me to keep my hands, I had to get rid of her. The breeder we had gotten her from (my Aunt bred and showed dogs for a long time, this was one of her friends) felt so badly she gave me one of her top show dogs- Shailey. This dog? This dog was pure evil. I can’t even recount everything this dog did, but my parents gave her back. On my birthday. And it didn’t even bother me so much, because “sane parents” was a pretty good trade off. Then I got my first cat, and have had one ever since.
8. I talk to myself. Constantly. I try to pretend that I am actually talking to the objects around me… until I realize that “Talks to Self” and “Talks to Inanimate Objects” are about equal on the Scale of Crazy.
9. I have a HUGE weakness for reality TV.
10. I have a Black Thumb. A horrible, horrible black thumb. One time someone suggested me getting a plant and a friend of mine who knew me better was like, “Oh, no. That’s just cruel.”
NINE places I’ve visited
1. Orange, Texas, with the Red Cross.
2. The Beaches at Normandy.
3. Auschwitz
4. The Louvre.
5. Vancouver, BC
6. Most of Eastern Europe
7. New Orleans, pre- Katrina
8. South Beach
9. New York
EIGHT ways to win my heart1. Be nice to my cat.
2. Love cheesy horror movies.
3. Own a dog.
4. Hugs. I love hugs.
5. Be able to snark.
6. Make me laugh.
7. Backrubs.
8. (For cats only)- Fall off the couch, then proceed to glare at me like
I did something wrong.
SEVEN things I want to do before I die
1. See a show on Broadway.
2. Own a huge dog.
3. Finish the Wheel of Time series. (Of course, that’s contingent on
Jordan finishing the series, but…).
4. Visit Greece
5. Write a meaningful academic work. (WaveUnfurled? Collaboration?)
6. Be able to drive without being terrified.
7. Live by the water.
SIX things I’m afraid of
1: Spiders.
2: Marionettes. (Don’t even ask).
3: Take-offs during flights.
4: Driving
5. Werewolves.
6. Computers.
FIVE things I don't like1. Cold weather.
2. Mornings.
3. Lamb.
4. The Patriarchy. (That one’s for you, Wave).
5. George Bush
FOUR ways to turn me off
1. Be mean to my cat.
2. Be homophobic.
3. Be a bad tipper, or don’t chip in quite enough at group outings.
4. Ask me if I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
THREE Things I do everyday
1. Feed the cat. TRUST ME, I have to do this every day. Usually several times a day, because the cat doesn’t
like when he has even a millimeter sized bare spot in his bowl, because then he is
clearly Starving Cat, and he will make life miserable for everyone in the apartment until this is rectified.
2. Read.
3. Consider exercising. Note: I do not do the exercising, but I consider it. Every single day.
TWO things that make me happy1. Night thunderstorms.
2. Cooking a really great meal.
ONE thing on my mind right now1.FUCKING FINALS.
Good Lord, that took forever. I also feel like I just filled out the Longest. Personal Ad. Ever. So, like, if you like long walks on the beach and want someone to share wine and conversation with- Call me! Seriously, I am only tagging
WaveUnfurled with this, because she always tags me. But I would love any other bloggers who read this to do it too!
For The Rest Of You, It's The "Holidays". For Me? EXAMS.
Gah! I know it has been forever with the not updating. And… sorry? But this time, I am honestly just Out Of My Damn Mind busy, what with the starting the new job and the flying to Texas and the FINALS IN ONE GODDAMN WEEK. (Note: Am a little stressed.) So updating has been difficult. But here’s a quick rundown on all.
New Job: New job is wonderful, except for the fact that I began as we went whole hog right into the Evil Project From Hell, which is making everyone, and I mean everyone, in two offices run around and threaten retirement. This is something that happens occasionally, and unfortunately things involving District Courts tend to be Pains in the Ass, so I can’t blame anyone in the office. In fact, my boss bought us all pizza yesterday, so that was cool. But less time with the internet surfing. And my home computer still doesn’t have a space bar, so what do you people want from me?? :).
Texas: Love Texas, LOVE my parents’ new house,
LOVE my parents’ new game room with pool table. Do NOT love my seeming complete inability to actually get the balls to go into the pockets, but this only means that I have to go there and practice much, much more. We spent a lot of time in the game room drinking and playing pool, while my father tried to convince us he was playing pool the “English” way, which appears to consist of hitting the cue ball in such a way that it leaps over the other balls and off the table, coming to an abrupt halt in carpet several feet from the table and scaring the
hell out of the cats. Somehow, I think he was making this up.
Seriously, y’all? My parents bought this gorgeous house which is huge and kind of castle-y and hunting lodge-y, and it has a little lake in the backyard and this copse of pine trees and a giant screened-in porch and is awesome. And the trees are not grown in enough for werewolves to live there yet, so I am not afraid of them. And all my friends have to come to Texas with me on vacation because we could have WAY too much fun in that house.
Finals. Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHA. That? That is the sound of me completely losing my shit. Y’all, I am
not ready for finals. I am not even remotely in the same zip code as ready for finals. It’s going to be an ugly two weeks.
But then… Freedom! For a month! A month that definitely involves Texas and might, if everything works out right, also involve New Orleans, which I still feel compelled to help in any way possible. And Christmas and holiday music and
WaveUnfurled coming to visit and Kate and E and I planning for the
Awesomest. Party. Ever. Which we will be throwing in about 4 months, and which we are planning this far in advance because honestly? You have no idea how awesome this party is or how long we have to plan for it. I promise a photo essay.
But… seriously. It was just Thanksgiving, and I avoided doing a general Thanksgiving entry. Well, ok. Maybe that’s because I was playing pool and drinking wine, but… I just have to say, I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Last years’ Thanksgiving marked the true beginning of a downward spiral that ended with me in the emergency room of another country, and I have been working to pull myself out of that for a long time. It has been an interesting road. This year, however, I am far better. I finally feel back in control, of all manner of things I had lost control over. So I am thankful for that. And for the people around me who have always been there- I am so lucky to have such great friends. And even though some of them are far- WaveUnfurled, and soon-to-be Peanut, it’s amazing what a late night phone call can do to restore sanity. (Unless, of course, it is a late night phone call in which my dreams are destroyed. But anyway). So overall I felt it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t say something along those lines, and along the lines of Thanksgiving. So there you go.
Now, I will resume COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING PANICKING w/r/t: Exams.
