Monday, December 19, 2005

I Know I Brought This On Myself.

Sometimes, it is better to just keep your mouth shut. Because when you mock, you open yourself up to karma. And karma is a bitch.

That said, Kate, E and I had a totally hilarious moment at the holiday party that we didn’t actually realize we were throwing Saturday night.

This adventure begins Friday night, with this conversation:

Kate: “I’ve gotten three RSVP’s for tomorrow night.”

Me: “Oh. Cool! Um…. Did we…. Did we send out an invitation for tomorrow night??”
Kate: “Nope.”

Me: “Ah.”

Kate: “Costco?”

Me: “Yep”.

Honestly y’all, we have this impromptu party throwing thing down to a science. Aaaand… here’s where the second tangent to this story comes in. Have you all seen the commercials for Baileys Irish Crème? With the young professionals having a party? Now. We have lots of parties. We go to lots of parties. We ARE young professionals who party. NO ONE PARTIES LIKE THE PEOPLE IN THIS COMMERCIAL.

This commercial is on a lot around the holiday season, and it always sparks a conversation among the three of us that goes something like this:

Me: “Oh for the love of god, it’s the Bailey’s commercial. Again. And I will say, AGAIN, that it is a Stupid. Commercial.

Kate: “Yeah, I mean, it’s kind of unrealistic. But…”

Me: “NO BUTS. Seriously, who sits around at a party and drinks glasses of Bailey’s Irish Cream?? HONESTLY. DRINK A BEER. OR WINE. NO ONE DOES THIS. DRINKING A CLOYINGLY SWEET CREAMY BEVERAGE DOES NOT MAKE YOU SEXY EVEN THOUGH THE COMMERCIAL PRETENDS IT DOES.”

E: “I just hate this part where the woman, for some obscure reason, eye fucks the guy until he drips the last drop down her throat, but then it is intercepted by the other guy. I mean, huh?”

Kate: “Yes. That is really stupid. But honestly, maybe if we had a pretentious party, then people would drink Bailey’s.”

Me: “Never. Going. To. Happen.”

So this commercial is on often, and we have had this conversation dozens of times. It’s a big running joke in my apartment.

(You all see where this is going, right?)

So anyway, we were planning our party, and we decided to make it very holiday-ish, with mulled wine and champagne and fancy coffee drinks. And here is where I stop with a public service announcement, which is: People. All of you. Go mull some wine. This shit is fantastic. We went through 5 bottles and no one wanted to stop drinking it. It’s THAT good.

Kate, Citycat, and E’s (but really the Internet’s) Mulled Wine Recipe:

Bring 2/3 cup white sugar, 2/3 cup water, and one cinnamon stick to a boil.
Add juice of ½ an orange, the ½ orange peel, and 10 cloves.
Lower heat, simmer for ½ an hour until mixture is syrupy.
Stir in one bottle red wine (we highly suggest Pinot Noir, possibly Kendall Jackson.)
Allow to warm throughout, serve in mugs.

It is lovely Christmassy goodness.

Anyway, so everyone shows up and we have mulled wine and a friend of ours brought over… you guessed it… Baileys, to add to coffee and make nutty Irishmen and the like. And to make matters worse, it was cheaper to buy the little bottles of Baileys, instead of a big one. So anyway, we are all hanging out and eating cheeses and drinking wine and life is really good. But the mulled wine was going quickly, and as you can see, it takes about a half hour to 45 minutes to make a new batch. So there was a period of time where we were in drink limbo and were discussing options with our friend, and the conversation went like:

Me: “There is coffee and whiskey and Bailey’s if you just want Irish coffee, or champagne, or…”

Him: “Honestly, I’ll just have a Bailey’s on the rocks.”

Me: “Sure. Let me just get my rocks glasses and…… Oh. Oh, no.”

Him: “Is something wrong?”

Me: “KATE.”

Kate: “What?”

Me: “He wants a Bailey’s. On the rocks.”

Kate: “Ok, just get the rocks glasses and… Oh.”

Kate and I then had to leave the room and sit down we were laughing so hard. Kate called E into the room then, and he took one look at his friend and the Bailey’s and he needed to sit down. I felt bad for our poor friend, who felt slightly uncomfortable as the hosts of the party laughed hysterically at him.

And later in the evening, when the mulled wine was well and truly gone, ALL of the guests had rocks glasses of Bailey’s, JUST LIKE the damn commercial, and Kate even dripped the last drop into my mouth.

Sigh.