Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Traveling Has Turned My Cold Cold Heart to Mush

So, I haven’t written much. Maybe that is because for the last ten days I have flown to Texas every thirty-six hours. I am not kidding. In ten days I made three round trip trips to Texas, and I am exhausted and really, really glad to be home.

Part of my problem with all of this is my general feelings about flying, which can pretty much be summed up in a conversation I had with The Joker, which I will post below. This was directly prior to my second trip, so the gloss had worn off, but I was not yet to “curled up on the couch crying”. (more on that, later).

The Joker: “Excited yet?”

Me: “Eh, it’s more…

Run to metro.
Travel to airport.
Hate airport.
Hurry to get through security.
Get through inexplicably empty security in record time.
Sit and wait. And wait.
Get on plane. Yay plane!
5 minutes later: Hate plane.
Takeoff- convince myself am going to die.
Do not die.
Fly, fly, bored.
Try to sleep.
Get crick in neck.
Contemplate coke or coffee.
Get coffee.
Instantly hit Murphy’s Law of Turbulence.
Spill hot coffee on self.
Hate plane, turbulence, pilot, guy next to me for good measure.
Land. Convince self am going to die.
Look out window to determine when close enough to ground to survive crash.
Do not crash.
Find cab.
Ride uncomfortably to hotel.
Check in hotel.
Yay hotel!

Annnd… that pretty much sums up the last ten days or so. I have not been to work. I have not been to class. Instead, I have been staying at a gorgeous hotel with a Jacuzzi bathtub and have been taken out to fabulous lunches and dinners and basically have been treated like a rock star.

You know what I realized? I don’t so much want to be a rock star. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. And while traveling is a lot of fun, I have had the best times lately at home. And a Jacuzzi and great hotel room just aren’t as much fun if you don’t have someone to share them with.

Which… isn’t like me to say, so much. When I planned this whole thing, (because yes, there was some planning involved in this insanity), my life was different. Mainly, I had not met The Joker and was making plans as I always did- on my own, and for me. There’s nothing wrong with this. But since I’ve been with him, I’ve been remembering things- or maybe learning them for the first time. I’m realizing just how much more things can mean if you have someone to share them with. I’m seeing that “home” can be more than a city, “life” can be more than a job, and “future” can be more than a five year plan. All of those things can also be a person, and when they are things are different. Things are, actually, better, even though it’s scary as hell sometimes.

Y’all, I am one big ball of exhausted stress, so forgive me my sappy rambling. I intended for there to be some major changes in my life. I just didn’t intend on having someone at my side while they happened. But every day I realize more and more that having that person may be the best change I never even hoped for.

I’ll be back soon with your regularly scheduled snarking.