Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Ministry of Space and Fortified Wine

Let me just give you an example of how my life has been going lately:

In my office, there is a crash:

Supervisor: (running out of her office). “What was that? Did someone fall over?”

Me: (struck by hilarious implications of that reaction) “Wait. What does it say about our office that the first thought you had when you heard a crash was “Did someone fall over? Is this… is this a frequent occurrence?”

My Boss: (from inside his office) “It says that the average age of this office is 110.” (loud, pregnant pause). “Or, drunk.”

So, there you have it y’all, the average age of my office is “drunk”.

(Do I have to elaborate on how happy that makes me?)

Anyway, Kate and E are finally home, (because they LEFT ME, ALL ALONE for many, many days, and they are just damn lucky I didn’t have another cockroach situation, because I would have simply left the apartment and not returned. Or, maybe I am the lucky one in that situation? Dunno.) Anyway, the night they came home there was much rejoicing and shrieking and hugging (ok, that was mainly me) along with copious drinking and breaking of glassware, which, stunningly, was not me at all.

But I think it’s entirely possible that everyone has lost their minds this week, or at least MY friends, as is evidenced by the following gmail conversation with A:

A: “Oh cool, there’s a new planet?”

Me: “No. There are THREE new planets.”

A: “There are three… The HELL?”

Me: “I know. It’s like, how the Hell did we miss them for so long?”

A: “Our Ministry of Space and Fortified Wine would not have missed them.”

Me: “Right! Our… What? We have a Ministry of Space and Fortified Wine???”

A: “Of course. Why would we not?”

Just in case you were wondering, A’s and my Government of Made Up Ministries also includes the Ministry of Censorship and Brewing.

But I blame the insanity on one thing, and one thing only.

Snakes. On a PLANE.

Which totally opens tonight, and people are going to come to my house and drink beverages and then we are all going, en masse, to the midnight showing.

I suggest you all do the same.