Thursday, March 16, 2006

In Which Law School Needs Paxil

This week law school has utterly and completely KILLED MY WILL TO LIVE. Now, law school does this on a fairly regular basis, I understand. The heavy books to schlep, the never going out or having a life, the exams, the nonsensical cases, the exams, the EXTRAORDINARILY HIGH tuition bills, and, of course, the exams. (In case I hadn’t mentioned that). In fact, I wonder if I have had an actual will to live since August of 2004.

But this week is different. This week law school sucks in a whole new way. Law school is being creative! Law school is Thinking Outside Of The Box. Law school is depressing the ever loving shit out of me. Allow me to recap my week:

Monday: Three hour discussion on the Rwandan genocide. With a man who has spent a great deal of time working on the ICTR in Rwanda. Y’all? There is no way on this earth to talk about that situation and not want to come home, curl up in a ball, and cry.

Tuesday: Civil Rights, And How The Courts Ignore Them. Seriously, people. This class is about statutory interpretation, it’s not even about substantive law, does he HAVE to pick the most depressing cases on earth to showcase for us??

Wednesday: Racial Profiling! Yay! Now with guest speakers! Who tell us all about how THEY were profiled and humiliated on the side of the road. Also- articles from a charter school in the area about how black teens are treated by the cops. Honestly, nothing is more fun than reading about innocent teenaged kids, taking a break from school, on SCHOOL GROUNDS, with SCHOOL PERMISSION, getting frisked, beaten up, and arrested for no reason. Thank God our professor decided at the last moment NOT to show the movie clip he was going to show, because he physically wasn't able to sit through it, it was so upsetting.

Tonight: Homophobics! More racists! Kicking people out on the street when their same-sex partners die! Not allowing discrimination protection to gays! (Although I have to say that case turned out better than I thought it would. Thanks to… Scalia. Great. Now my head just exploded.)

Tomorrow: Police power- stops and frisks.

I mean, ok. I get it. We suck. But… do we all have to suck all at once? I mean, couldn’t their just be ONE happy case or SOMETHING, SOMEWHERE, before I SLIT MY WRISTS?

So I e-mailed this to A, and he responded as follows:

“Does GULC offer the Law of Puppies and Kittens and Fuzzy Yellow Easter Chicks? Or what about Rainbow Property Rights where we learn that EVERYONE owns the rainbow because it is made of joy and love and there is plenty for everyone!”

Not only did I suspect he was making fun of me (lighting quick there, ain’t I?), I also am so far gone that this was my response:

"Rainbow Property Rights" would probably turn into a litany of the ways that homosexuals are denied rights. (Note: I care about this. But it defeats the purpose).

The Law of Puppies and Kittens and Fuzzy Yellow Easter Chicks would begin with a lovely story on a small child getting mauled by a pit bull. (note to readers: actual case we read yesterday). Then we would discuss the illegal fight scene and how the dogs are tortured to make them mean. The kittens portion would most likely cover the following: drowning unwanted ones, legal implications of the lonely, crazy old woman down the street who has 437 of them, and maybe how Kittens Make Good Snake Food (note to readers: not an actual case we read, but I am not optimistic).

Then we get to the meat (heh) of the course. Fuzzy Yellow Easter Chicks. Where do I begin? First off, I think there is a significant racial issue in the fact that only yellow chicks are chosen over white ones. Now, I know there is some question as to whether civil rights legislation includes or excludes "whites", and I think we need to discuss. Second: Easter. I believe that we have stated ourselves to be a secular society and it is Not Fair to take innocent chicks who cannot speak up for themselves and force them to be a symbol of Christian hegemony. How do you think the Muslim, Jewish, and atheist chicks feel? This is not right.

Finally we need to look ahead to the true fact of Easter Chicks- it's only a matter of time before they become Easter Dinner. And that is after we have harvested their eggs, denying them procreation which they have a right to. We at the very least should have informed consent before we eat our feathered brethren.

So there.

Thank god for reality television. It sounds so sad, but when everything is totally depressing? Snarking on Tyra is a surefire boost. Which is why last night, which involved me, Kate, Top Model, Gleb, Mexican food, wine, and the first round of the ANTM Fantasy game, was perfect.