Friday, March 24, 2006

And NEXT Week Will be Worse

So much is going on. So. Much. And most of it is not good, people, not good at ALL.

This week was a mess. Not as much of a mess as NEXT week is going to be, thanks to a LOVELY bit of information that was recently e-mailed to me, but we’ll get to that in a minute. First of all, this week.

Monday wasn’t too terrible, except for the following:
1. Tony actually IS dead on 24, and that is just unacceptable in So. Many. Ways.

2. Turns out that nuclear non-proliferation? Slightly, but only slightly less depressing a topic than Rwanda. Especially given the comments of the Russian Prime Minister.

3. A and I? Continue to be exactly the same kind of stupid. To wit: sitting in class on Monday, discussing the Non-Proliferation Treaty. Me: “What is an “MPT”? I did not do the reading.” A: “I don’t know! I didn’t either.” Me: “Google it!” A: “I did”. Approximately ten minutes later, A and I both gasp with realization and at the exact same moment look at each other, all: “OH! NPT.” Seriously, y’all.


Tuesday generally sucked because it was A. the longest day ever, and B. Consisted of many icky things. For example, I started the day off with a final visit to my oral surgeon, with whom I am now on hugging terms. I read the pathology report, saw many, many big words, comforted myself with “benign” once more, and left literally about 5 minutes after we had gotten there. Seriously, y’all, I was done with my appointment before it was supposed to have started. This was followed by….

The Dentist.

Oh y’all, I hate the dentist. Not my dentist per se, but the whole idea of the dentist. The Platonic Ideal of Dentist, this is whom I hate. Honestly, is there ANYTHING else in the world that assaults ALL of your senses at the same time in such an unpleasant way? The screech of the drill, the smell of your teeth as they grind away, staring at a giant light into your dentist’s scary goggles, the GIANT FUCKING NEEDLES, which, OW, and of course the tastes of blood and tooth and stainless steel. Yum!

So I go, and he has several teeth to fill, because I inherited extraordinarily crappy teeth from my father. He needs to do both the left and the right side, and I am actually kind of grateful, because the left side has been bothering me for an unreasonable amount of time now, and he keeps putting it off. And this time was no exception. He started on the right hand side, and things went fairly normally. By “normally”, I mean, “I sat there completely tense and in a complete panic because it doesn’t matter how much Novocain you give me, I still feel phantom pain while you are drilling and it HURTS.” The came the “polishing down” section, at which point he developed OCD and spent approximate 427 hours grinding down the filling he had just put in. I was ok at first, and then I tolerated it, and finally I got to a point where I feel I was exercising remarkable restraint by not grabbing the fucking polisher and jamming up his nostrils, when he finished. I relaxed, ready for him to fix the other side. And this is what the man says to me.

“Ok. Well, I can do the other side, but it will have to be without anesthesia.”

I have to say that I actually don’t remember that moment very clearly, because my head was busy exploding while my body was producing fight or flight chemicals at a remarkable rate, but I honestly think the words, “Oh, HELL no” actually left my mouth. I mean, people. I AM NOT JAMES FREY. I mean, ok, I realize that even James Frey was not so much James Frey, but that just strengthens my point.

Apparently, one cannot numb the bottom of both sides of ones mouth, or one may choke to death. Which, fine, I get your logic, but couldn’t you have, maybe, mentioned it before we began this little journey????

So anyway, it wasn’t even one in the afternoon and I was already sort of a disaster. I then went to work, and then class, and THEN Kate drove me to Baltimore, where we went to trivia and a friend’s house and THEN to the hotel at which I would be staying until Thursday, for computer training.

Computer Training.

This was not too bad. However, several member of the class just…. Lost their toolbars. I… I don’t know either. I know at one point I had to hide my face behind my monitor because I was laughing so hard. Because seriously? How do you lose. a toolbar?

The Evil That Has No Soul

The worst part, however, was Wednesday night, when I received an e-mail from Jimbo which basically said the following:

“Here are the notes from Crim. Oh, by the way. We have three hour classes all next week and all the reading for the rest of the semester is due. Have a good night!”

Um. The HELL? I tried for clarification, but really, there is none. As Jimbo noted, we have apparently “taken our sweet ass time” going over the material, and the Prof wants to step it up. And has done so by dictating three hours of class a night and extensive reading. And… he can just do this. This is apparently A-OK.

(There may have been weeping).

Luckily, the rest of the week picked up, except last night when stupid Kari lost me approximately SEVEN MILLION POINTS in our ANTM fantasy game. Kari? Try WALKING. Without FALLING. It’s not that hard, GOD.

Anyway, that is that. Next week is going to clearly suck, with the millions of hours of classes and the millions of pages of reading and KILL ME NOW.

But have a good weekend!