Saturday, February 04, 2006

Insanity Reigns

So, it would be nice to sit here and post a nice, coherent entry about my life. But that? Is SO not going happen, because I don't think my apartment as a collective whole has had a coherent thought all weekend. And that is definitely fun, and makes me want to post, but if you expect me to make any sense, you are simply out of luck.

Last night E and I read what honestly amounts to an entirely unhealthy amount of Random Funny Things On The Internet, causing the development of nonsensical inside jokes. (ie: After a bumpy landing, the stewardess came on the mic and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like you to know that that landing was not the pilot's fault. It was not the co-pilot's fault. It was the asphalt.")

Ok, you know what that is? That is Not. Funny. But E and I? Oh, E and I thought it was funny, in fact, we thought it was hilarious, and now everything that goes wrong in our apartment is promptly blamed on the asphalt. Of course, Kate fell right into this too, because she lives here, and that doesn't leave you much of a choice.

Maybe the problem was the fact that somehow we ended up not eating dinner until insanely late, and low blood sugar makes you stupid. But Kate and Top Model came home from Trader Joe's with food and many, many bottles of wine from around the world. Which we drank while playing a new game Top Model taught us, called the Bowl Game, which yes, is as much fun as it sounds, but no, not for the reasons it sounds like it should be fun. Anyway, this game begins by everyone writing down hundreds of random names, and I am proud to say that Kiefer/Jack Bauer ended up in the bowl five times. Um, y'all? There were only four of us. Anyway, you then divide into teams and proceed to try to guess names, and Top Model and I lost, because of a combination of several factors, first being that E and Kate have been dating since the Clinton administration and it simply wasn't fair, since they can totally read each others minds. But it was actually even worse than that, because I am totally predictable, and it led to many conversations that went like this:
"The one Citycat is in love with."
"No, the other one."
"No, the other one."

while I promptly lost my mind and when trying to get Top Model to guess "Thomas Jefferson", literally, ALL I COULD COME UP WITH WAS: "Um. He was a president. Um... he was a good president?" And she might have hated me a little bit. But that was ok because we then watched Daniel and Nick make out on Project Runway in slow motion (oh, YES they DID), and re-wrote Toni Braxton's "Unbreak My Heart" for recently eliminated Andre to "Unsell My Shop".


And while I am just stream of consciousness typing, I would like to mention that it is probably a good thing that I am in love with fictional characters, because again? Me and dating? No. Just.... no. I realized this a few weeks ago at work, when I was eating some chili I had made for lunch and a co-worker mentioned that it smelled good. I mentioned that I use a lot of garlic, and she sort of paused, and said... "Oh. Well. So if you meet a vampire, you are all set."

And I started thinking about that, because Peanut and I had recently had a conversation and she had mentioned eschewing spinach dip at a party because she might run into a guy and didn't want to get spinach on her teeth.

So let's review.

Normal, healthy single girl automatically adjust lifestyle in case she meets: A guy.
I? Unconsciously adjust my lifestyle in case I meet: A Vampire.

But this is probably a good thing, because today a guy I met a few weeks ago called to chat, and proceeded to get into a car accident while on the phone with me.

Universe? I get it. And I will stick to vampires. And Kiefer.

And Oh. My. God. Lost Boys. That JUST occurred to me. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't going to die a little happier because of it.

Anyway, today Kate, E, and I got up, then proceeded to do NOTHING, until Dragonheart came on. Oh yes, Dragonheart. Which is a far, far better movie than it has any right to be, because Sean Connery just acts the SHIT out of the animated Dragon part, and Dennis Quaid just goes through the whole movie with this look on his face, like he can't possibly be taking this shit seriously, but it's fucking Sean Connery, and he is taking it seriously, so he just goes with it.

So we went and had lunch, and then came back and watched Kate get into no fewer than four battles with her keys, all in the space of like 10 minutes and all of which she lost, rather spectacularly. And hilariously, as far as E and I were concerned. And although Kate pointed out that I really should probably have gone out tonight, I chose instead to stay in and watch Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, eat pizza, and read a new book.

And post, obviously. Because the whole point of a blog is the place you can bringthe Crazy.