Tuesday, August 09, 2005

If I Whine Enough, Will You Kill Me?

Ugh. This week? This week is not good, folks. And because I can, allow me to bitch here.

1. My major project at work, one that is VERY public and VERY large and that I have been in charge of for over a year is coming to fruition, which, good, except... not. Because not only does it require about 6 hours of my day now, it is also not technically my job any longer. And I have a really bad feeling once next week is over, everyone is going to come to the realization that it is no longer my job and freak the hell out, because it is becoming ever more apparent that I am the only one who can actually DO most of the necessary work. This does not bode well.

2. I'm SIIIIIIICK :(. Also, whiny. Apparently my body did not react well to being up until 5 or 7 am every morning last weekend (I know.... but the beach was so much fun) and then waking up at 10 am to start drinking. And there is sickness and coughy-ness and stuffed-uppedness and PAIN, and I am not HAPPY, thanks.

3. Tomorrow is Dentist: Part 2: Take 2, and all I have to say is that the poor remaining bits of gums that I have left don't stand a chance what with the stellar combination of Sharp Drill and Violent Sneezes I have going on here.

4. Summer? It is about over. And while I am looking forward to class (yes, I kind of am), especially because I MISS MY LAW SCHOOL PEOPLE, I am also not looking forward to the end of summer, because then I will MISS MY BEACH PEOPLE. Sigh. This is seeming to be a trend with me, the end of summer melancholy. But seriously? Beach people? You rocked this summer and I absolutely love you all. Thanks so much for all the phenomenal memories, I'll never forget this summer! (Well, at least the parts of it I remember ;)).

Ok, enough with the whining and the sap, if there has been one bright spot this week it has been the wonderful e-mails that have been whinging around the internet. First off, I unfortunately cannot republish the ones between my ex-roommate, current roommate, and self, because they are far too snarky. However, I CAN publish this gem, received from S this week:

From: S
To: Citycat
Re: The brilliance of (Company name withheld to protect the Stupid)... evident down to the tiniest detail.

Okay, everyone in my office just got this email from the building manager, regarding the employee picnic taking place tomorrow:

"Due to the Heat, I have asked the event staff for Saturday’s picnic to relocate events from the ballfield to locations nearer the building. This is where I need your help please if your parked in the small parking lot in front of the building please move your car so we can use that space."

Now I will leave aside the glaring misuse of "your"and the odd parsing of ideas into sentences, because something more impressive is at work here. Reread that if you need to, and then give it a moment to sink in.


Because of the heat, (Company) is relocating its employee picnic to a parking lot.

Hee. Always good to know that no matter how hard we fight, someone is out there defying all logic and working hard to keep everyone focused on uselesness.

Have a good week, hopefully I'll be funnier later in the week when I dont (a). Physically feel like I am dying, and (b). Emotionally think this wouldn't be such a bad thing.