Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I Have A Dog!

I have a dog now.

(Mom, pick yourself off the floor).

(You too, Kate).

Allow me to explain. But like all explanations, this cannot be simple. And like all blog entries, it starts with me losing my damn mind.

I have no idea what is up with me today. I am in a really good mood for no reason at ALL, especially since my head is a little blurry from the wine Kate and I drank on the balcony last night and they keep expecting me to do work here. You know, at... work. Anyway. As annoying as my job can be, and even though I do not post much job stuff here, I will say that in the past week or so I have:

- Been told by someone when I asked if she had gotten the revisions to the budget: "Child, I am so old I can't remember one day to the next."

- Been given a tomato. By my boss.

- Been given an end of the day assignment that consisted of: "Read this book. We will do this tomorrow." The book? The Magic in Tea Leaves: How to Read the Future in Tea Leaves.

So why should I have a mind? No one else does.

But ANYWAY, I was sitting at my desk eating cherry Jell-O and coming to the conclusions that 1. I don't like Jell-O, and 2. I don't like anything artificially cherry flavored, which 3. Made this a terrible choice on my part for a number of reasons, and 4. I still have 4 containers of this crap at home to eat. And maybe it was the Jell-O mixing with the wine and the Crazy, but I decided that I really, really, REALLY want a tiny little purse dog.

No, really.

I want one that I can stick in a tote bag and take to law school with me and it will be SO CUTE. Except I do not want a chihuahua, which seem to be the purse dogs de rigueur, so I decided that instead of actually doing work I was going to research the type of purse dog that I wanted. And THEN, to make a TERRIBLE IDEA all THAT MUCH WORSE, (much like adding the detested cherry flavor to the already much-disliked Jell-O), I decided that I would probably just get him from the pound anyway so I should go look on their website for instantly adoptable purse dogs.

They do not have any purse dogs. And I can't get a dog for myriad reasons, the main one being that I am already gone from the apartment so much that I got a roommate to help keep the cat company, and while roommate is absolutely wonderful about playing with the cat and feeding the cat and blogging with a cat on her lap, she... she doesn't need a dog, people. And neither do I. But then...

I am going to get serious here for a minute. I discovered Guardian Angels. This is fantastic, people. I cannot afford a dog in just about every way you can not afford a dog, but I can totally afford to do this and I am totally doing this. Meet my dog. This is Winston. And what really gets me is Winston's "story":

"They call me Winston. I used to have a home, but my family moved and left me behind. I don't understand why, because I'm a good, obedient guy, and I really try hard to please. I'm friendly and easygoing, and I'd love to find a family with a kid or two to play with."

That is NOT RIGHT, Y'ALL. Just NOT OKAY AT ALL. Pets are not toys. They are not, as much as I seem to be acting like they are above, whims. Pets are family. And if it was at all possible I would run right to the pound and adopt Winston and spend about the next ten years hugging him and telling him it is not his fault that his previous owners were heartless, evil, irresponsible people who never deserved him in the first place in the hopes of fending off some of the emotional damage that you know being abandoned has done to that poor, innocent, ADORABLE dog.

But it's not possible, so right now I am just going to make sure that Winston has enough food and water and vet care and hoping that the S.P.C.A. has enough money to employ enough people to pat him and play with him until someone comes along and does what I cannot do.

I got Winston. But there's a lot more of them out there. And before I start to sound too much like an "Adopt a Child" informercial, I am going to go.

And give Jake a REALLY big hug when I get home.