Friday, July 08, 2005

Random Friday Thoughts

It's Friday, and although I have only had a three day work week ("work" being used in a very loose sense of the word), I am fighting off a cold, helped a friend move last night which entailed lifting heavy boxes in the rain, and am entirely incoherent. Therefore, I will share with all y'all the lovely random thoughts I have had the past two days.

- Ok. Perhaps when I began this blog two years ago and wrote about tourists, I was being a little harsh. (Look! With the linking! Finally!). I am willing to say that now that I am older and wiser, or at least older and have had much of the optimism and goodwill and hope beaten out of me by the stupidity that surrounds me and now drift comfortably in cynicism, I take it back. SOME of it. Fine, tourists. Walk around in matching shirts. Sing in the mall. Take up the entire food court with those free meal coupons and only eat at Taco Bell or McDonalds because god forbid you eat anything new. Walk as slllooooowwwwlllyyy as you'd like- not like I really need to be anywhere. Drive like idiots, hold me up at the metro turnstyles, turn your nose up at various parts of my city. There is just one thing I ask. ONE. GODDAMN. THING.


Especially when you are on an escalator to a metro station prior to 8am on a work day and it is RAINING. I know you want to hold on to your precious children and make sure no one falls down this scary, newfangled staircase that moves, but I do NOT appreciate being stuck in the rain while getting progressively WETTER and LATER to work. It's extremely rare that anywhere in this city actually affords us residents a fully working escalator. Don't take all the fun out of it. Please???

- I realized today my relationship with a certain co-worker had really hit rock bottom when even after a great deal of talking to myself, soul searching, and walking a mile in so called persons' "shoes", the only place I could talk myself into from "loathing" was "pitying".

-Conversation from the move last night:
(In an elevator filled with boxes, me, S, and our friend Secret Agent)

Me: "This elevator is definitely going to crash and we are all going to die".

Secret Agent: "That's ok, we'll just haunt the place."

Me: "Um, sorry, but although I love the two of you, I am not entirely sure you would be the two people I would pick to spend eternity with."

(Few minutes later, S has been caught up talking to someone about the building, annoying Secret Agent).

Secret Agent: (scaldingly) "Did you get his number?"

S: (looks at us). "You're right. Eternity would be far too long".

- If you have spent the last few hours moving someone, and you have -by completely skewing the laws of physics -managed to fit everything he owns into an itty bitty Budget truck, ensuring that the truck is packed absolutely to the ceiling and absolutely no space remains between anything, and are feeling rather smug about it, the LAST thing the people you are moving with want to hear you say is, "Um, guys? Where... where did I put the van keys?".

- So you can't bring lighters or matches on planes anymore. O...k. I see this as a problem. Now, it's not the fact that I really don't think anyone could actually hijack a plane with a match or a Bic (I mean, come on people- can you ever actually get one lit long enough to light a damn cigarette, let alone bring down a 747?), because I am sure it is possible. But for me it is more a matter of risk assessment. To me, the number one way to increase violence on planes and in airports is to take a bunch of people who have been stuck in airline travel (just... don't get me started) and then TAKE AWAY their ability to have a cigarette as soon as they possibly can. Don't get me wrong- planned violence is terrible, but don't tell me that more random acts of violence won't occur by stressing people out and then denying their nic fit. I see divorces coming from this.

Anyway, only another hour and a half to go and then I can go home, where I will be for approximately a nanosecond, and then I will be on my way with K to the beach.

And this time, I will NOT fall down.

Happy weekend!